There are some places I expect to find him; like the songs we shared, the smell of his favorite perfume or the places we spent time together. I know heartbreak will find me there, and I've learnt to make some peace with that.

What's much harder to cope with is when longing finds me in the places we never shared. The mornings of grass we never sat on, the sound of birds I've never known, the plan of owning a dog together he never asked me to. The hardest part of all of this is that I keep finding little pieces of him when I'm not looking; in places I didn't know he'd been.

December 12, 2022.