The weight of feelings I have for missing you can never tantamount to anything in this world. I ache every night that I won't be able to physically be with you. I am longing to find you next to my bed whenever I wake up at 3:14 AM. All I want is the touch of your skin to mine.

I miss you.

Your touch, your smell, your body beside mine. I lie awake at night counting the days I have to be with you again. There won't be enough "I miss you"s to make you feel how much I'm really longing to be with you. All I want are nights with you— to be right beside you sleeping, to cuddle and to talk about this and that. All I want is waking up every morning knowing you're there to kiss me good morning.

I miss holding your hand while we're sitting on the backseat of a cab, or while walking down the streets even if it feels strange because I'm not used to hold hands in public. I miss hugging you in between your tight working schedules. I miss laughing with you.  I miss you, it hurts. There's nothing I wanted right now than to be with you physically— to be able to cup your face and wrap you in my arms. I don't know how to put it in words of how my heart is breaking because we are apart. Of all the things that's been coming out of my mouth at this moment, I could really just utter the words "I miss you" because that is what I'm feeling right now.

I miss you.

The world feels more than a little bit unstable right now, and honestly I'm not okay. I know that even when you're not physically with me, we're still connected because you tell me so all the time. But, damn, I definitely miss the comfort that comes with your embrace.

Whenever we're apart, I walk around with this feeling I can't seem to shake. It's like an emptiness inside my chest that I can never really seem to fill. Anytime you wrap your arms around me, though, I suddenly feel full. It doesn't matter where we connect, be it an embrace out on the sidewalk or some cuddles while we watch TV, it all means the world to me.

I've hugged a lot of people throughout my life, but none of them held me quite the way you do. It's like your arms were always meant for me; I just had to find you. Your arms are like my solace, a sanctuary from the demons in my mind. I don't know how you do it, but a simple hug from you makes the madness melt away and calms the storm that constantly brews inside. I'm not sure you even realize how magical your hugs are (although I'm fairly certain you know how much I love them). But honestly? It's time you knew. So this is for when I get to hug you again, whether that's tomorrow, next month or next year:

Thank you for comforting me, protecting me, and keeping me safe and warm. Your arms are my refuge and my home. I can't think of a better place to rest than wrapped in your embrace. I know my arms may not always seem as warm and welcoming as yours, but I'll try my best to keep you safe when they're around you. I can be your shelter too.

The world feels more than a little bit unstable right now, and honestly, I'm barely hanging on. But thinking about all the hugs of ours is keeping me alive.

March 31, 2023.